You won't believe what I did
This week we are going to try to use transitional phrases in our writing. We are going to write about what we did during our extended weekend and then we will polish the writing with some transitional words. You wouldn't believe the difference words like next, then and finally can make to your writing.
Here are two summaries that I wrote about how I spent the past two days. Which one is better? Why?
Summary 1
We headed out to Glovertown for a Newfoundland pony sleigh ride. We had to wait until Saturday because as you all know the weather was pretty desperate on Friday. It takes three hours to get to Glovertown, but it is well worth the drive. We roasted marshmallows, ate tasty icicles and took a peaceful spin through the country with a Newfoundland pony hauling us along. To top it all off we stopped in Clarenville for something to eat. I was pleasantly surprised when I found out that I could eat for free because it was my birthday. What a great two days!
Summary 2
Yesterday we headed out to Glovertown for a Newfoundland pony sleigh ride. We had to wait until Saturday to leave because as you all know the weather was awful on Friday. It takes three hours to get to Glovertown, but it is well worth the drive.
As it turned out, the ponies were spooked by the wind on Saturday so we spent our time roasting marshmellows over an open fire. Grace and I tried pretty hard to find just the right roasting stick! The marshmallows were incredible! I ate four and Grace had three. Grace preferred to enjoy the marshmallows right out of the bag while I liked devouring them after they were brown all around. I was doing all right with the roasting until one caught fire!
All that marshmallow eating made us pretty thristy so we found some tasty icicles to quench our thirst. Grace's grandmother thought that eating icicles off the house was pretty disgusting, but I think it's pretty cool.
On Sunday morning I called the pony man in Eastport and he told me that we were good to go. You wouldn't believe how excited we all were to get out in the country! We bundled up into our warmest gear and headed to Eastport. When we got there our chariot was waiting. My that pony looked so magestic standing there in the snowy field. We had a beautiful blue sky and the sun even decided to come out and play.
After our tour guide was harnessed he began to make his way along the back country trails. Sometimes we had to duck so that a tree wouldn't whip us right in the eyes, Grace thought that was pretty funny. The ride itself was so peaceful. Laddie, the stunning Newfoundland pony, did not disappoint. He plowed through the deep snow and took us through the back country. For us city folk it was a welcome change of pace!
Finally we returned to the starting point and we were all beaming with enthusiasm. Grace's grandparents even came out to see us and of course to pet the pony. You should all put this on your bucket list!
Here are two summaries that I wrote about how I spent the past two days. Which one is better? Why?
Summary 1
We headed out to Glovertown for a Newfoundland pony sleigh ride. We had to wait until Saturday because as you all know the weather was pretty desperate on Friday. It takes three hours to get to Glovertown, but it is well worth the drive. We roasted marshmallows, ate tasty icicles and took a peaceful spin through the country with a Newfoundland pony hauling us along. To top it all off we stopped in Clarenville for something to eat. I was pleasantly surprised when I found out that I could eat for free because it was my birthday. What a great two days!
Summary 2
Yesterday we headed out to Glovertown for a Newfoundland pony sleigh ride. We had to wait until Saturday to leave because as you all know the weather was awful on Friday. It takes three hours to get to Glovertown, but it is well worth the drive.
As it turned out, the ponies were spooked by the wind on Saturday so we spent our time roasting marshmellows over an open fire. Grace and I tried pretty hard to find just the right roasting stick! The marshmallows were incredible! I ate four and Grace had three. Grace preferred to enjoy the marshmallows right out of the bag while I liked devouring them after they were brown all around. I was doing all right with the roasting until one caught fire!
All that marshmallow eating made us pretty thristy so we found some tasty icicles to quench our thirst. Grace's grandmother thought that eating icicles off the house was pretty disgusting, but I think it's pretty cool.
On Sunday morning I called the pony man in Eastport and he told me that we were good to go. You wouldn't believe how excited we all were to get out in the country! We bundled up into our warmest gear and headed to Eastport. When we got there our chariot was waiting. My that pony looked so magestic standing there in the snowy field. We had a beautiful blue sky and the sun even decided to come out and play.
After our tour guide was harnessed he began to make his way along the back country trails. Sometimes we had to duck so that a tree wouldn't whip us right in the eyes, Grace thought that was pretty funny. The ride itself was so peaceful. Laddie, the stunning Newfoundland pony, did not disappoint. He plowed through the deep snow and took us through the back country. For us city folk it was a welcome change of pace!
Finally we returned to the starting point and we were all beaming with enthusiasm. Grace's grandparents even came out to see us and of course to pet the pony. You should all put this on your bucket list!
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| Once we found the perfect stick we were off to the races! |
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| Jason of Eastport Organics and his Newfoundland pony Laddie |
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| Grace on a Newfoundland pony |
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